Snowden Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

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Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?

Tsardines!

How many Soviets does it take to change a light bulb?

None! In Soviet Russia, light bulb changes you!

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Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What's the worst time of the year for the Slinkies factory?

Spring break.

What do women and linoleum have in common?

If you lay them just right you can walk on them for years.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do women and hand grenades have in common?

When you pull the ring off, your house goes away

Why are hurricanes named after women?

Because they arrive wet and wild then leave with your house and car

Russian Airport Jokes More Russian Airport Jokes

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

How did the man get stuck at the Russian airport?

He got snowden.

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

Why didn't Mick Jagger pick Randy Moss up from the airport?

Because a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

Why JFK doesn't wear hats?

It is an airport.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear?

Because he was Russian.

What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply?

Mas cow.