Snowden Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

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Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

Both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

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Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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What do Aaron Hernandez and Jared Fogle now have in common?

Matching uniforms.

Whistle Blower Jokes More Whistle Blower Jokes

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

He was snowden

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

Flight Jokes More Flight Jokes

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow crash?

There were Poles on the right half of the plane.

Blizzard Jokes More Blizzard Jokes

What's the coldest type of reptile?

Blizzards.

What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard?

Edward Snowed In

Nsa Jokes More Nsa Jokes

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

What did Russia say to Ukraine after the conflict was over?

Cry me a peninsula.

Moscow Jokes More Moscow Jokes

What do you call a Russian bull?

A Moscow

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers?

Because they only use half pipes.

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.