Snowden Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

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Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

Both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

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Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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Accuse Jokes More Accuse Jokes

Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

What do you call a wrongly accused art thief?

Framed

East Coast Jokes More East Coast Jokes

What do Hurricane Irene and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They blow the whole east coast and there's videos online.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How does Bill Gates enter his house?

A. He uses "windows".

How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

Folk Jokes More Folk Jokes

What do you call the hot tub that two folks just made love in?

H2OOOHHHGG

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

Violists.

Treason Jokes More Treason Jokes

What do you call an Ent prince who betrays his dad?

Treason

Why did the tree go to jail?

Treason

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why didn't Bungie stick with Halo?

Because it wasn't their Destiny.

Why was the apricot late to the party?

He got stuck in a jam.

Marshmallow Jokes More Marshmallow Jokes

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

How many marshmallows does it take to get to the moon?

Purple, there are no bones in ice cream!

American Jokes More American Jokes

What did the American WWI vet say to the angry German veteran?

Can't we just let Argonne's be Argonne's?

Which of the American forces is the most patriotic?

The Air Force, because its US AF.