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Snowden Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

Love

Love

Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

Both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

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Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

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Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

What did Blizzard do on Warcraft's opening night?

Farm gold in China.

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Why can't Americans play chess?

Because they are missing two towers.

Why did the Italian miss his dinner?

It'a was'a pasta his bed time

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Why was Mrs. Clause's stocking full on December 21st?

Because Santa came early this year.

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

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What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

What do you call it when you go to the store just to use their dumbbells and then leave?

Shoplifting

Marshmallow Jokes More Marshmallow Jokes

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?

So that he didn't fall in the hot cocoa.

How many marshmallows does it take to get to the moon?

Purple, there are no bones in ice cream!

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?

The Dead Sea.

What do heavily-armored army vehicles celebrate for the holidays?

Tanksgiving

Edward Jokes More Edward Jokes

What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard?

Edward Snowed In

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...