Snowden Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

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Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

Both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

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Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do rabbits prefer IPA's over other kinds of beers?

Because they use extra hops

Why don't smart girls ever get pregnant?

Because they use their head.

Russian Airport Jokes More Russian Airport Jokes

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

How did the man get stuck at the Russian airport?

He got snowden.

East Coast Jokes More East Coast Jokes

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

What do Hurricane Irene and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They blow the whole east coast and there's videos online.

Flight Jokes More Flight Jokes

Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow crash?

There were Poles on the right half of the plane.

How long is the flight?

A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

Edward Jokes More Edward Jokes

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

What do you call being sick because of an airport?

Terminal illness

What happened when the communists took over the airport?

The planes kept Stalin.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What kind of game are Americans worst at?

Tower defense.

What would you guys like to ask an American?

Nevermind they'll just tell you anyway

Folk Jokes More Folk Jokes

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

Violists.

What does a Men's Rights activist call a broken hand?

Celibacy. (Edit: LOL! Seems I've "triggered" some folks with broken hands and fedora collections.)