Snowden Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

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Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

Both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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Moscow Jokes More Moscow Jokes

Why doesn't Russia import water buffalo?

Because they already have Moscow.

Why are you rushin'?

Too which I replied "Because my grandpa is from Moscow." Duh..

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's Irish and stays out all year?

Patty O'furniture.

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Freedom Jokes More Freedom Jokes

What do you call innocent women and children dying in the middle east?

Freedom

What's that?

A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in and I'm a little bit closer to freedom. *puts in dollar* "WTH!!"

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

Nsa Agent Jokes More Nsa Agent Jokes

What did the NSA agent say to the other NSA agent when he saw the German Chancellor?

I'd tap that.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Express Jokes More Express Jokes

Why do people wear sleeveless shirts?

They like to express the right to bear arms.

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

Both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

What does a rock artist say to a jazz musician?

To the airport please

Why can't Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii?

Aloha Ackbar" doesn't go over well at the airport

Treason Jokes More Treason Jokes

What do you call an Ent prince who betrays his dad?

Treason

Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea?

A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face.