Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

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What's the NSA's favourite game?

I spy.

Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!