What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

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Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

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Why are cars in Russia so slow?

Because they are always stalin.

What does it take to be a president of Russia?

Be a Viktor, then you are Devinitely In

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Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

What do you call a Canadian in a blizzard?

Cold.

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Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!