What does it take to be a president of Russia?

Be a Viktor, then you are Devinitely In

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Why couldnt the NSA whistle blower leave Russia?

He was snowed in

Why is Russia a very fast country?

Because the people are always Russian!

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Why isn't the Vice President running for President this year?

Cuz he's Biden his time.

What do call the President of Russia with an upset stomach?

Vladimir Poopin