What's the true meaning of a New Years resolution?

Something you do for the first week of the new year.

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Why repent?

I pented just last week.

What does it mean when a groundhog sees a maple leaf on feb. 02?

Six more weeks of bad hockey!

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What's a priests least favorite thing about New Years?

The balls drop.

How does an Alzheimer's patient celebrate New Years?

Kissing strangers.

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What's the true meaning of a New Years resolution?

Something you do for the first week of the new year.

What was the console gamer's New Years Resolution?

1280x720

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What did one bird say to another bird on New Year's?

WOW THAT YEAR FLEW BY

What's my New Year resolution?

Well, I just got a Hi-Def TV, so it's 1920 X 1080i.