Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

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Snowden Jokes More Snowden Jokes

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

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What do you call an internet cafe in Russia?

A cyberian cafe.

Why are they using two ply toilet paper in Russia?

Because authorities want a carbon copy of all matters.

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Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.