Edward Jokes

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

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Why didn't Edward get on the plane?

Cause it was snowed-in.

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why didn't Edward leave Russia?

Cause he was snowden.

Whose son was Edward the Black Prince?

Old King Coal!

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

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Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

What do you call a monster with a wooden head?

Edward.

What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard?

Edward Snowed In

Why isn't Edward leaving Russia?

Because he's snowed in.

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

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Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

When is a car, not a car?

When it turns into a driveway.

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

Why won't you read this joke?

Cause you've already reddit!

Why aren't you studying, Billy?

Billy's Mom asked him, "Well, why aren't you studying, Billy? You have an exam tomorrow!" Billy said, "Because I've already Reddit thrice."

Nsa Jokes More Nsa Jokes

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

What the NSA say to NASA?

You're a day late and a dolla short!

Whistle Jokes More Whistle Jokes

Why do bees buzz?

Because they can't whistle!

Why do women parachutists wear cups?

So they won't whistle on the way down.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How does a vampire clean his house?

With a victim cleaner.

How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be?

Use LED based paint.

Snowden Jokes More Snowden Jokes

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What begins with an "s", ends with a "x" and leaves a guy blown away?

Semtex.

Why do we have to listen to a 45 second instructional to leave someone a voice mail?

Beep, talk. We get it, condescending cell companies.

Black Prince Jokes More Black Prince Jokes

Whose son was Edward the Black Prince?

Old King Coal!