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What is the definition of diplomacy?

The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person in the White House who is honest, intelligent, and law-abiding?

A tourist.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a person?

None. Light bulbs don't change anything.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow-worm?

He has a flashing light.

What do numbers look like when they get divorced?

96

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the other nose say to the other nose when it was crying?

It told it a Nak-Nak joke! (In my language Urdu, Nak means nose.)

What's brown, black and blue and lays at the bottom of a ditch?

A brunette that's told one too many blonde jokes.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What do they say about a rapper who stole a dictionary?

He got a way with words.

Why can't guys do the splits?

The banana gets in the way. Banana split

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What is the definition of a major seventh?

A violist playing octaves.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?

He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?

He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise.

What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?

A trip to Israel.

Ability Jokes More Ability Jokes

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.