What is the definition of diplomacy?

The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What will you call a person who sleeps next to a close relative?

Napkin.

What do you call a person who fights fire?

Firefighter.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why should we hire you?

Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison.

What does an invisible watermelon look like?

Like that.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How is a bell obedient?

It sounds off only when it is told (tolled).

How do you know if someone grew up in New York City?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways... Five.

What do they say about a rapper who stole a dictionary?

He got a way with words.

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of a Yankee?

A. Same thing as a "quickie" only you do it yourself.

What do you get a body builder for Christmas?

A dictionary, so they get plenty of definition.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Why is it bad for blind people to skydive?

It scares the hell out of the dog

Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub?

I put soap and water in there every day...

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

Why did the monster lie on his back?

To trip up low-flying aircraft.

Why is a racehorse like a letter?

They both begin a trip at the post!

Ability Jokes More Ability Jokes

What is the definition of diplomacy?

The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

What did the starfish say when it realized that it lost it's ability to regenerate limbs?

I can't remember.