Terrorist Jokes

What do you call it when two terrorists are horsing around on the radio?

Talibanter

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What do you call a terrorist on vacation?

Aloha ackbar

Where did the terrorist go after the explosion?

Everywhere..

What do you call a terrorist on the moon?

A problem. What do you call when 3 terrorists are on the moon? A problem. What do you call when all the terrorists are on the moon? A solution.

What Do You Call A Group Of Terrorists That Love to Smoke Weed?

HIGH-SIS

What do you call a party thrown by a Terrorist at a bar on a hot day in Hawaii?

A-lou-AK-bar.

Why can't a terrorist tell a joke?

They always bomb the punchline!

Why do terrorists hate wine?

Because there are too many zinfandel's.

Why are terrorists so mean?

Because they don't like Nice people.

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident

What does a terrorist and a soccer player have in common?

Mossack Fonseca.

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What did the terrorist say to the racist and the socialist?

We are the 2016 presidential candidate frontrunners. This is a joke take it that way

What did the terrorist send in the mail?

A CAIR package.

When do terrorists go to bed?

9:11 PM

What do you call a terrorist who's always late?

9/12

Where do terrorists go to have a drink?

Allahuak Bar

What was the terrorist's pick up line?

Hey babe, I've got a large pipe bomb and I never pre-maturely detonate.

Why US didn't attack India, after twin-tower incident, looking for terrorists?

Because it didn't happen in 7/11

Why do terrorist use Nokia phones?

So they can reuse the phone after the explosion

What did the terrorist say to the waiter after his meal?

These hot wings have made me a ticking time bomb.

Why did the terrorist blow up the playground?

He was a suislide bomber!

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What do you call playful insults between terrorists?

Talibanter

What did terrorists say in Paris?

Charlie has been neutralised

What's the difference between terrorists and tourists?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

What did terrorists used to call Fidel Castro?

Infidel Castro

How do you spot a terrorist?

They'll freak out when they hear a helicopter

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

Where do terrorists store their money?

In the West Bank

What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian?

I don't know man, I just fly the drones.

What is your secret weapon against terrorists?

We simply reply......Chuck Norris

Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan?

Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on

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What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists?

Simplifying Radicals. Yes, she's a math teacher.

What do you call a terrorist in the North Pole?

An ISISicle!

What kind of back problem did the terrorist have?

Scoli-isis

What did the terrorist say when he woke up?

It was Allah dream.

What is a terrorist his favourite car?

A Citroen C4

What happened when the joke about terrorists got to the front page?

It blew up

What does a terrorist in Antarctica say?

Allahu Akburrrrrr

What does a terrorist and a cue ball have in common?

The harder you hit them the more English you get.

What do you call a chat site for terrorists?

Allahu Chatbar.

Why do terrorists hate air planes made of water?

Because they hate waterboarding.

What do terrorists and the England football team have in common?

They will never win

Why did the terrorist go to Sonic?

To have a Blast!

Where do terrorists go for a drink?

The Allahu Ak-Bar.

Why do terrorists in Antarctica love being interrogated?

Snow boarding is fun as hell.

Why are terrorists eco-friendly?

They're biodegradable.

Where do midget terrorists live?

Halfghanistan.

Why don't terrorists shop at Walmart?

They prefer a Target.

How did the terrorist get into Czechoslovakia?

They didn't Czech his papers.

Why did the terrorist buy himself a Porsche?

He was going through a midlife ISIS

Where do terrorists like to go for a drink?

The Allahu Ak Bar

What do terrorists say to their sister?

H'Isis

What did terrorist say to my friend Jack?

Hi Jack!

What did the terrorist say about his popular reddit post?

I didn't expect this to blow up like it did!*

Where do terrorists go when they're on the run?

Apparently, they go everywhere.

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

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A tourist.

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Trigger discipline

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What has two heads and six legs?

Nirvana

What did the fish say when it bumped its head?

Dam.

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Why don't violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?

A dressmaker tucks up frills.

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Why do toucans only go camping in pairs?

So they can bring two canopies.

Where do the Greek X-men sleep when camping?

Mu-tents

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What is another name for sunscreen?

SOLution

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

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Why was the maths book sad?

It had too many problems.

What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the iPhone 6 started?

Looking for Jobs.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

It's dangerous to hit a lightbulb with a bat.

What's the last thing to go through a fly's mind when it hits a windshield?

It's rear end!