Blast Jokes

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

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What did the older terrorist say to the younger terrorist before he headed out for a party?

Go on, have a blast.

Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy?

I heard everybody had a blast.

What does an astronaut do when he gets angry?

He blasts off:

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?

Because they've just had a big launch.

Who makes the best Astronauts?

Team Rocket since they're always blasting off.

Why did the terrorist go to Sonic?

To have a Blast!

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

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Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

What do you call four condoms who play music together?

A rubber band.

Space Jokes More Space Jokes

What do you call a potato in space?

Spudnik

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

What vegetable likes to party?

A turn-up

Where do Cows go for parties?

The Moovies

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap?

A farte

What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

Boston Marathon Jokes More Boston Marathon Jokes

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What do a Boston Marathon runner and Jesus have in common?

Nails in their hands and feet

Bomb Jokes More Bomb Jokes

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person?

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?

E V E R Y W H E R E

Casino Jokes More Casino Jokes

Why did the monks go to the casino?

Tibet.

What is the name of that casino on the beach?

Pair-a-dice.

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

Why does everybody else get the brunt of the jokes?

Let me hear something different.

What did you ask to Santa Claus this year?

The other one answers: -Oh fifty dollars, like everybody else, why