Fred Jokes

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

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Why did Fred put band aids in the refrigerator?

He wanted cold cuts.

Why do you say he's conceited?

Fred: Well every time there was a thunderclap during the storm he went to the window and took a bow.

What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

What did Fred from 'Scooby Doo' say when Mystery Inc. finally found a mystery that was too scary for them to solve?

2scooby4doo

Who's there! A Fred! A Fred who?

Who's a Fred of the Big Bad Wolf

What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins?

Fred.

What's a robin?

Fred: A bird that steals ma'am.

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Whats the difference between Australia and a yoghurt?

Leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 300 years and it'll develop a culture

Why can't bears get jobs in Australia?

They don't have the right koalfications!

Acne Jokes More Acne Jokes

What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins?

Fred.

Glue Jokes More Glue Jokes

What's the difference between a pot of glue, a tuna, and a guitar?

You can tuna guitar but you can't guitar a tuna!

What do a tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue have in common?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What kind of music do phones love to hear?

A symphony

What did the muslim telemarketer say when he picked up the phone?

Halal?

Bang Jokes More Bang Jokes

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

What's the best thing to do with a thimble?

Bang it with a drum-thtick!

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Who cares if you pee in the shower?

The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Why can you not shower with a Pokemon?

Because they'll Pikachu

Blast Jokes More Blast Jokes

Who makes the best Astronauts?

Team Rocket since they're always blasting off.

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?

Because they've just had a big launch.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why don't you hear any knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings.

Why are there so many black people in Detroit?

It's because they heard there was no jobs there.