Shotgun Jokes

What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common?

You break them at the middle and load them from behind

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What sound does a shotgun make?

Cobain Cobain

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

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Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What dance do hippies hate?

A square dance.

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

Why is Coolio always able to play craps?

He's got a gangsta's pair a dice.

Blast Jokes More Blast Jokes

Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy?

I heard everybody had a blast.

What did the older terrorist say to the younger terrorist before he headed out for a party?

Go on, have a blast.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bear is best?

One that gets you an oscar

What kind of phone makes music?

A saxophone.

English Jokes More English Jokes

Where did the English teacher and the student fight?

In the MLA boxing ring

Why do stoners love English?

Because it's lit

Rifle Jokes More Rifle Jokes

What do you call a rifle that fires 3 bullets at once?

A trifle!

What is a rifle with three barrels?

A trifle.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot?

Mitosis

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?

The first herd shot round the world!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino?

Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL