Load Jokes

What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common?

You break them at the middle and load them from behind

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What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?

When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

What does Brock Lesnar do if a website isn't loading?

He gives it an F5

What do you do with spoiled fish food?

Load it in the chum dumpster.

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.

What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath?

Throw a load of dirty laundry in.

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

How do you make a redditor impatient?

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

How do you get an r/jokes redditor confused?

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What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty?

Pessimist Prime

What should you do if you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry, and soap

What's easier to load into a garbage truck? Bowling balls or babies?

Babies, because you can use a pitchfork.

When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?

In the Ark-hives.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

What do you do when you see Michael J. Fox in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.

What do you do when you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of dirty laundry and some detergent.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What did the guy with bad internet get?

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Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Africa! There are loads of them running around!"

Why does Bernie Sanders support abortions?

Because even after he's blown his load he won't pull out.

How do you make a computer your best friend?

You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded!

What should you not put in the washer with a load full of towels?

A towel full of loads

How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

What is easier to load your van with bowling balls or screaming baby's?

Baby's because you can use a pitchfork

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?

They can lighten your load!

What is the difference between a girl and a washer?

The washer doesn't follow you around after you put a load in it.

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What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it?

A denom-nom-nominator!

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Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

Laundry Machine Jokes More Laundry Machine Jokes

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

F5 Jokes More F5 Jokes

What does Brock Lesnar do if a website isn't loading?

He gives it an F5

How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day?

F5.

Spin Jokes More Spin Jokes

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?

Your spinning me a yarn here!

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and Ferrari?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Shotgun Jokes More Shotgun Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

Unload Jokes More Unload Jokes

Which is faster to unload, a truckload of bricks or a truckload of dead kittens?

Dead kittens. Can't get a pitchfork into the bricks.

What's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls?

You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.