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Load Jokes

What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common?

You break them at the middle and load them from behind

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?

When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

What does Brock Lesnar do if a website isn't loading?

He gives it an F5

What do you do with spoiled fish food?

Load it in the chum dumpster.

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.

What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath?

Throw a load of dirty laundry in.

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

How do you make a redditor impatient?

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What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

How do you get an r/jokes redditor confused?

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty?

Pessimist Prime

What should you do if you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry, and soap

What's easier to load into a garbage truck? Bowling balls or babies?

Babies, because you can use a pitchfork.

When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?

In the Ark-hives.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

What do you do when you see Michael J. Fox in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.

What do you do when you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of dirty laundry and some detergent.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

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What did the guy with bad internet get?

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$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Africa! There are loads of them running around!"

Why does Bernie Sanders support abortions?

Because even after he's blown his load he won't pull out.

How do you make a computer your best friend?

You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded!

What should you not put in the washer with a load full of towels?

A towel full of loads

How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

What is easier to load your van with bowling balls or screaming baby's?

Baby's because you can use a pitchfork

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?

They can lighten your load!

What is the difference between a girl and a washer?

The washer doesn't follow you around after you put a load in it.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it?

A denom-nom-nominator!

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddler?

How red their necks are.

What's the difference between Leonardo DiCaprio and Sesame Street?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow?

Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How does a Priest find a little boy in the woods?

Very exciting

What kind of wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

8 Jokes More 8 Jokes

What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

Where do black person go to travel cross-country?

The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)

Laundry Machine Jokes More Laundry Machine Jokes

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

Because they want the D.

What is about 6 in long, has a head, girls love to blow it, and is in a guys pants?

A dollar bill you dirty minded people!! LMFAO

Woodchuck Jokes More Woodchuck Jokes

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A whole chuck-load.

What would a woodchuck do if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Go chuck itself of course.

Praise Jokes More Praise Jokes

How many pick-up artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero. They just keep praising and negging it, and then get upset when it doesn't screw.

What do you call someone who gets Praise and Merit on Reddit?

Creddit!!!!