Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

This joke may have profanity.

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After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

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What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

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How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute?

I'm serious... help.

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It keeps getting agitated