Washing Machine Jokes

Why is the washing machine so grumpy?

It keeps getting agitated

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What's yellow and goes around?

A banana in the washing machine.

Why are almost all brides dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the washing machine

Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.

Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

Why is a woman unlike a washing machine?

After you throw a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around.

How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

What is agitated buy joyful?

A washing machine

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

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What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister Matic!

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

What's grey and goes round and round?

An elephant in a washing machine!

How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute?

I'm serious... help.

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Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.

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A funny bunny

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What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

A Brexit

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What did the mother snake say to her crying baby?

Stop crying and viper your nose!

What's common between a crying baby and a gun?

You must not bring either to the movies.