Washing Machine Jokes

Why is the washing machine so grumpy?

It keeps getting agitated

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What's yellow and goes around?

A banana in the washing machine.

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.

Why are almost all brides dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the washing machine

What did the libertarian shirt say when it was thrown into the washing machine?

AM I BEING DE-STAINED?!

Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.

What is agitated buy joyful?

A washing machine

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister Matic!

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

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What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

What's grey and goes round and round?

An elephant in a washing machine!

How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute?

I'm serious... help.

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Her mother leaves.

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Why do blondes always die before help arrives?

They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

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What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?

A tiger moth!

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Snowoman no cry.

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Doing your job. "And me " Jobless and upset about the divorce "OMG" *runs out crying*