Washing Machine Jokes

Why is the washing machine so grumpy?

It keeps getting agitated

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What's yellow and goes around?

A banana in the washing machine.

Why are almost all brides dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the washing machine

Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.

Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

Why is a woman unlike a washing machine?

After you throw a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around.

How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

What is agitated buy joyful?

A washing machine

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

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What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister Matic!

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

What's grey and goes round and round?

An elephant in a washing machine!

How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute?

I'm serious... help.

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Like a Bosch!

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What happens when you text while driving?

I don't know, I've never tri

What do you call a dark or melancholy verse of text?

Poe-etry

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Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

Why the hate for necromancers?

T They're just trying to raise a family.

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What is black and white and red all over, and spins in circles?

A nun who has a spear in her, going through a vevolving door.

What do you call it when you spin a candy cane?

A tournament

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Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?

You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.

What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend?

I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.

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What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

What did one cell say to his sister after she stepped on him?

Mitosis. Huehuehuehuehuehue

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How is Wolverine's love life similar to a mishap at the laundromat?

Someone else goes home with their Jeans.

Mama Jokes More Mama Jokes

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.