Washing Machine Jokes

Why is the washing machine so grumpy?

It keeps getting agitated

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What's yellow and goes around?

A banana in the washing machine.

Why are almost all brides dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the washing machine

What did the libertarian shirt say when it was thrown into the washing machine?

AM I BEING DE-STAINED?!

Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.

What is agitated buy joyful?

A washing machine

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister Matic!

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

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What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

What's grey and goes round and round?

An elephant in a washing machine!

How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute?

I'm serious... help.

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Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

Why was the blond excited when she finished her puzzle after 6 months?

Because the box said 2-4 years!

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What is the mathematician's favorite pick-up line?

Hey baby, wanna see the exponential growth of my natural log?

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is the difference between a human and a potato?

Time

What did 2 say to 3 about 6?

Oh don't mind him, he's just the product of our times!

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

What's red and silver and bumps in to walls?

A baby with forks in it's eyes.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

Kevin still doesn't know.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

How do you know you are dating a women, not a girl?

A girl has no name.

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

Wolf Jokes More Wolf Jokes

What kind of wolf never runs?

Steppenwolf

What's a wolf's favorite breakfast food?

A wolffle.