What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit!

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again.

How the hell should I know?

Let me talk to a few criminals and see who they think is scariest.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What is someone who just got left at the alters least favorite fruit?

Cantaloupe

Why don't Leave voters go to the cinema?

Because they're unable to see the big picture.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb?

If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.

Which appliance in your home do you think is the most useful?

His answer: "My mom."

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice-cream?

Sure, Bert!

What's the worst thing about being a Jehovah's witness?

Nobody asks, 'who's there ' when you try and tell a knock knock joke.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What did the hipster say......when he was told to get off the couch?

Nah-imma-stay

Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?

Because it was baked.

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

What did the tired pilot say to his crew?

I think I'm gonna crash

Y Jokes More Y Jokes

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

Why don't X and Z get along with Y?

Because Y so serious

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

Where is everybody?

Everybody I don't know. All over the planet I guess.

Why ya going to the airport?

Flying Somewhere?": "How'd you guess?": "Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?": "Aspen.": "Mmm, California.. Beautiful."

Hippy Jokes More Hippy Jokes

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit!

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

Bit Jokes More Bit Jokes

What do you call the spaces between the bits on a comb?

Hair-vents.

How do i know you're not 1 of them?

Were you bit! What! Do you not know what a hurricane is

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?

Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....

2 Week Jokes More 2 Week Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker