How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why was the composer late for work?

He missed Debussy. I'll just leave.

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know if a complete stranger is vegan?

They already told you.

What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?

They both have Sandy Claws.

House Jokes More House Jokes

When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

What did the Hippie say to the invisible elephant?

Hey dude, you're outta sight!

What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did the homeless yogi say when told to leave the yoga studio?

Nah, I must stay.

What do dolphins use to stay clean?

All-porpoise cleaner.

Ma Jokes More Ma Jokes

What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam?

Look ma, no hands!

How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"