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What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam?

Look ma, no hands!

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Why did the big pig want to go on stage?

There was a lot of ham in him.

What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

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What did the corn stalk say to the other corn stalk?

That outfit makes you look very corny.

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

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Why is the moon so bright?

Me: "It's not, it's pretty dim actually." Moon: "I heard that."

Who directed this?

HIM: "A bear attack." ME: "Never heard of him."

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What's the worst thing about 90's kids?

They fight back.

What's the worst thing you can hear while taking the bus?

ALLAHUUUUUU AKBARRRR

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the house go to the doctor?

He was having window pains I'm sorry

What did the doctor say to the domestic abuse victim?

See you next "fall".

Prostate Exam Jokes More Prostate Exam Jokes

What does it mean when a doctor has both hands on your shoulders?

The Prostate exam isn't going he way you expected

What is the worst part of a prostate exam?

Feeling the doctor's hands on your shoulders.

Ma Jokes More Ma Jokes

What color is the most metal?

Ma a

What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam?

Look ma, no hands!