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Ma Jokes

What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!

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How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista

What color is the most metal?

Ma a

What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over?

Ma

What kind of sandwich is this?

She asks. "It cheese ma."

What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam?

Look ma, no hands!

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English Jokes More English Jokes

What's an English geologist's favourite fruit?

A pomegranate.

What's the only thing the English and French agree on?

Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why did you leave your previous job?

ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why are the corners the warmest part of every house?

Because they're 90 degrees!

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?

Just a phew!

Metal Jokes More Metal Jokes

What do you get when you cross a spud and a metal show?

Moshed potatoes.

What is Stannis Baratheon's favorite genre of metal?

Grindcore

Art Jokes More Art Jokes

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!

What did the microbiologist bring to the art fair?

A cup of yogurt.

North Korea Jokes More North Korea Jokes

How can North Korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine?

By how fast it sinks.

Why can't British people go to North Korea?

Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "north career" means

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a mushroom that likes to party?

A Fungi!

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the Frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Street Jokes More Street Jokes

What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over?

Ma

What's a one way streets favorite band?

One Direction