How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

Who's there! Crewcut! Crewcut who?

Crewcut and I'm the only one left!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in One Direction and pointed in the other.

What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?

A tale of whoa!

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you call a chicken haunting your house?

A Poultrygeist!

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

I told her that drinks were on the house

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

How do you know if a hippie was at your house?

He's still there.

What do you call a hippie that is out at sea on a raft?

He was far out man. --

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?

Stegosaur-rust!

Ma Jokes More Ma Jokes

What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam?

Look ma, no hands!

What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!