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How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What sock do you put on last?

The one that's left.

What is long, hard and leaves a warm, white, sticky substance in your mouth?

Toothbrush.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

Who's there! Billy Bragg! Billy Bragg who?

Billy Braggs too much tell him to stop it!

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

What does Joe Biden say as he is leaving his house?

Biden

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.

What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

Whos there Ellen Ellen who?

Ellen Pao Oh k lol stay out.

Ma Jokes More Ma Jokes

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista

What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over?

Ma