How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in One Direction and pointed in the other.

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?

Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?

The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

Why does a pencil shave?

To look sharp

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why does vampire Superman want to go out?

Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's the worst thing to hear after giving head to Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

Why do blondes wear their hair up?

To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

What's a one way streets favorite band?

One Direction

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!