I told her that drinks were on the house
Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.
A functioning alcoholic.
A ladder in her stocking!
He wanted to go to high school.
Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.
Oops, this was supposed to be for. There's no punch line!
Phantom panes.
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
A cold shoulder
Because they ran out of Natural Light
Friend: A six pack. does 10 crunches cancels
A turn up