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Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

I told her that drinks were on the house

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

What do you call a mathematician who drinks too much?

A functioning alcoholic.

Ladder Jokes More Ladder Jokes

What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?

A ladder in her stocking!

Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know if someone was in the navy?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why are MMA fighters told not to blow their nose when in a fight?

Oops, this was supposed to be for. There's no punch line!

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the homeowners of house haunted by windows have?

Phantom panes.

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

What did the cannibal get when he showed up late to the party?

A cold shoulder

Why did the Eskimos have to stop partying?

Because they ran out of Natural Light

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What can I bring to your party?

Friend: A six pack. does 10 crunches cancels

What's the best kind of vegetable to bring to a party?

A turn up