What's the difference between a house cleaner and a thief?

The way they enter your house.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between real life Friends and the cast of the show Friends?

The ability to binge watch Friends with your friends.

What's the difference between a vacuum and a Harley Davidson?

The position of the dirtbag

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

What's the best side of the house to build a deck on?

The outside

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

How does Sean Connery find his way to the toilet?

With a shat nav.

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

Why did the thief take a bath?

To get a clean getaway

Enter Jokes More Enter Jokes

What did the seamen say to each other when they entered a deep dark cave?

Smells fishy

How does Bran Stark enter a brothel?

With a Hodor