How does Sean Connery find his way to the toilet?

With a shat nav.

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What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer. (tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

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Where does Sean Connery sit?

In the toilet.

Why did the snooker player go to the toilet?

To pot the brown.

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Why do women parachutists wear cups?

So they won't whistle on the way down.

What's the difference between a house cleaner and a thief?

The way they enter your house.

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What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish

What time does Sean Connery get to the US Open?

Ten-ish