Toilet Jokes

Who serves the toilet?

The buuttt-lerrr!

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What does Sherlock Holmes do in the toilet?

He de-deuces.

What goes in God's Toilet?

Holy crap.

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

Why did Tigger look down the toilet?

To find Pooh!

What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

Why did Dory warn Nemo about escaping through the toilet?

Because it was a sewer side mission!

What did Ghandi say when he was in the toilet?

I'm having a movement

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise?

The captains log

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What is a toilet in Ancient Mexico?

Aztec.

What was Tigger doing in the toilet?

Looking for Pooh.

What's blue and sits on the toilet?

A policeman doing his duty!

What did the toilet say to the pee?

Urine

Why did the snooker player go to the toilet?

To pot the brown.

What does a bad salesman and a toilet have in common?

They are both full of crap.

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

What did Spock find in the toilet?

Captain's log.

Where does Sean Connery sit?

In the toilet.

What's the worse thing to do to a blind person?

Leave a plunger in the toilet

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They left the plunger in the toilet.

What did they find in the toilet in the star ship Enterprise?

The captain's log.

Why can't your hear a pteradactyl go to the toilet?

Because the p is silent.

Why was tigger looking down the toilet?

Because he was looking for Pooh!

What does the president of Russia call his toilet?

Vladimir's Poo Tin

Why do you never hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet?

Because the p is silent

What does Peter Gabriel sing on the toilet?

I am the extruder...

Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

What did the Frenchman say when he saw a dirty toilet?

Eau de Toilette! (eww, the toilet)

Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet?

Because it was a Number 2.

Why did Tigger get stuck in the toilet?

He was looking for pooh.

What did Euler find in his toilet?

A natural log

Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?

He was looking for the Captain's log.

Why did Helen Keller scream?

Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.

Why did the janitor flush the toilet?

Because it was his duty.

Why did Tigger jump down the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

What is the meanest practical joke one can pull on a blind person?

Leaving a plunger in the toilet.

What did the hot dog say on the toilet?

Mustuuurd

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

How does Sean Connery find his way to the toilet?

With a shat nav.

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh. - *My little brother told me this one hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*

Why do we call it toilet paper?

Does anyone wipe their toilet with it

What does Neil Patrick Harris call his toilet?

His Dookie Houser

What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard?

Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

What do you call an Igloo without a toilet?

An Ig!

What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?

Wait until he's finished.

What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet?

Urine trouble.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What's the worst thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet?

BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion

Why did Tigger look in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.

How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?

She left a plunger in the toilet

What's the difference between sanctuary and prison?

Toilet paper.

What does cats and festival attendees have in common?

They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.

What's the difference between a toilet and a sink?

Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore.

What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get?

Mine is a skittle.

What did Spock find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

Why doesn't anyone in insert nations capital use the toilet in the morning?

So they have something to do at night.

What is the best celebration to have in a French Toilet?

A biday party!!

What's the worst prank you can play on a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

What do you get if you cross a toilet with a pop singer?

Loo-Loo!

What's the worst thing you can do to a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

How do you print something when you've really got to go to the toilet?

You ctrl p.

What did they find floating in the toilet of the S.S Enterprise?

Captains Log

What did Euler see in the toilet?

Natural log

Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the toilet?

Because the 'p' is silent.

What does a programmer do in the toilet?

A log dump!

What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet?

On a scale from one to ten, urinate.

What do you call a man who cleans out toilets?

Lou!

How do her parents punish Helen Keller?

By leaving the plunger in the toilet.

What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?

Weeeeeeeee!!!

Why did the superhero flush the toilet?

It was his duty!!!! told to me by my 7yo son

What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet!

Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?

He wanted to have a birthday potty!

Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet?

To boldly go where no man has been before!

Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion?

Because he was a slave to the cistern!

Where do toilets live?

Porcel Lane.

Where does a toilet keep his secrets?

In his diarrhea.

What do you call a ice cube in the toilet?

Poop cuber

Why was the pencil in the toilet?

It was a No. 2.

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?

That thing hurts!

What did the dragonball z fan say when he wanted to go to the toilet?

I need to goku the toilet

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