When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

WIFE: I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE: I use your toothbrush.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common?

The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside.

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you do if your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and use lubricant.

What website do emo kids use for business networking?

LinkedIn Park

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest?

Alien vs. Predator

What did one royal family say to the other before getting into a fight?

Put up your Dukes! I'll just let myself out...

Clean Jokes More Clean Jokes

How do you know when a cat's done cleaning itself?

It's smoking a cigarette.

What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?

He cleaned it!

Control Jokes More Control Jokes

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger French fries and League of Legends?

I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.

Why did Snoop Dogg lose control of his Pontiac?

The drizzle

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How would you feel if I die?

Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a supermodel?

Nothing if her husband knows what's good for him!

Toothbrush Jokes More Toothbrush Jokes

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in the South?

Because if it were invented in the North, it'd be called the teethbrush!

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

What did the black kid say to his mom when he had diarrhea?

Help! I'm melting!

Anger Jokes More Anger Jokes

What would Jesus say if you angered him?

I'm Crossed.

What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?

They will give you a piece of your mind.