What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

This joke may have profanity.

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What did the peanut say to his wife before he left?

I'll be back in a jiffy

Who did Alaska vote for?

Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife

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How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

What do men and women have in common?

They both distrust men.

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What do you call a belt made of dollar bills?

A waist of money.

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

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