Paralyze Jokes

What has arms but can't move them?

A small child paralyzed from the waist up.

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What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

What does a horse and kryptonite have in common?

They both paralyze Superman

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What is worse than a whale with a sore tooth?

Going to kiss your grandmother goodnight and she slips you the tongue.

What happens when two lesbians build a house?

It's all tongue and groove, and no stud inside.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What's the difference between Reddit and 4chan?

One is a group of immature internet trolls....and the other thinks it isn't.

What do you call a group of poor homeless people that show up to a party?

Party paupers

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!

Waist Jokes More Waist Jokes

What Does Stephen Hawking have in common with Rosie O'Donnell?

Neither of them has anything going on below the waist.

What do you call a belt made of dollar bills?

A waist of money.

Superman Jokes More Superman Jokes

What is the difference between Spiderman and Superman?

Peter Parker can swing a web. Clark Kent.

What is the one thing Batman and Superman don't have to worry about?

Dad Jokes.

Kryptonite Jokes More Kryptonite Jokes

What does a horse and kryptonite have in common?

They both paralyze Superman

What Did Superman Tell Superwoman?

Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)

Crip Jokes More Crip Jokes

What do you call a gangster with no limbs?

A crip

What do you a paralyzed gangster?

A crip.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What happened to the horse that ate a duracell battery?

He went on furlong-er.

Why did they have to stop playing water-polo in Poland?

All the horses drowned