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What gets longer the more you cut it at both ends?

A ditch.

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End Jokes More End Jokes

Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles?

Because Happy Hour ended.

Why did the chicken end up in the soup?

Because it ran out of cluck!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do you call an avocado cut up into 6.022*1023 times?

Guacamole

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

Ditch Jokes More Ditch Jokes

Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?

Her blinker was on.

What's green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

A girl scout that got hit by a car.