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What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

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What's little, brown, and found in the woods?

Winnies' pooh.

When can you operate?

Lighting a candle* Doctor: When we find you a new liver.

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What does cats and festival attendees have in common?

They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.

Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet?

To boldly go where no man has been before!

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What did Spock find in the toilet?

Captain's log.

Why did Spock dump his wife?

Because William Shatner I know it's old, but I love it so

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What did the captain of the alien mouse spaceship say when he met his first earth mouse?

Take me to your Liederkranz.

What did Captain Kirk do in the head?

He Shatner.

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What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

How many ears does Mr. Spock have?

Three. One left ear, one right ear, and a Final Front-ear.

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How do you know you're not logged into reddit?

There are posts on the frontpage

What do you mean I can't change the past?

Logs on to Wikipedia*