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Ship Jokes

What does the European say to the black couple?

I ship them

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What did the sea monster have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

Why were the pirates on the ship fighting?

They needed better anchor management.

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.

Why are so many Italian men named Tony?

When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

Why did the one-eyed pirate run his ship aground?

He didn't have any depth perception

Why does hiring a ship illegally always cost $3.14?

Because theyre pi rates.

Why are yachts and ships so scary?

Because they're for boating.

What do you call a snail on a ship?

A snailor.

Why didn't the kayak owner and yacht owner get along?

They didn't have ships in common.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

Why is a Camel called the ship of the ship of the desert?

It's full of Arab Seamen.

What did Captain Cook say to his men just before they got back in the ship?

Get back in the ship, men!

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

Where do you party on a ship?

Where the funnel be!

What is the strictest part of a ship?

The stern

What did the busy port master say to the rowdy pirates who wanted to dock?

I don't have time for your ship.

Why are camels referred to as "the ships of the desert"?

They are full of Iranian seman

What was the last thing that Columbus said to his sailors before getting on the ship?

Okay men, get on the ship.

How many mutants do you need to take over a Ship?

5 MutantA MutantB MutantC MutantD and Mutiny

Why does the Coast Guard have a 6 foot height requirement?

So when their ship sinks they can walk back to shore.

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Why are marines who can't swim better?

They defend the ship with way more enthusiasm.

What do you call a ship that drives itself?

Auto-pirate.

What do you call 5 doctors and nurses on a ship?

A decade Ba dum tish.

What is it called when a ship attacks their own navy?

Edit: Whoops wrong sub.

What did the programmer call his ship?

Sea++

What is a sea monster's favorite dish?

Fish and ships.

What did Lord Nelson say to his shipmates before they got on the ship?

Get on the ship

What saved the ship?

Flambuoyancy

What is a sea monster's favorite meal?

Fish and Ships

What does a ship weigh when she leaves for a journey?

Anchor.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

What did Captain Cook say to his men before they got on the ship?

Let's get on the ship, men!

Why are camels also known as Ships Of The Desert'?

Because they're full of Arab seamen.....

What kind of ships can't go in salt water?

Snail-boats

How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships?

With their eyes shut!

How did the domestic goods feel when they were being shipped overseas?

Tarrif-ied.

How can North Korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine?

By how fast it sinks.

Who's there! Anka! Anka who?

Anka the ship!

Where do you park Two Ships of Theseus?

At a Pair of Docks

What do sea monsters have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

What kind of ship never sinks?

A dictatorship. *sobs*

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint?

Both crews were marooned.

What's a sea serpent's favourite meal?

Fish and ships!

What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire?

Arrr son!

What is a sandwich on a ship?

A sub-marine

What does a ship say when it is cold?

Shiver me timbers!

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a shipcarrying blue paint?

Both crews were marooned.

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Snail Jokes More Snail Jokes

What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle?

Weeeeeeeeee

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

Blue Paint Jokes More Blue Paint Jokes

What does blue paint taste like?

Exactly like red paint!

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

Desert Jokes More Desert Jokes

What does a cat in the desert and Christmas have in common?

They both have Sandy Claws.

Why can't you starve in the desert?

Because of all the sandwiches there.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What happens to a Canadian's car when it breaks down?

The owner calls Triple Eh.

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?

Remarry

Amazon Prime Jokes More Amazon Prime Jokes

Whats the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon prime.

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?

The Amazon River actually has sails.

Maroon Jokes More Maroon Jokes

What happened when the blue ship crashed into the red ship?

The crews got marooned

What's a sailor's least favorite color?

Maroon

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the Empire State building?

About 16 seconds

Why do nuns hate laundry day?

They always fall back on old habits.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

What's the most important meal of the day to help you lose pounds?

Brexit