Log Jokes

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

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What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise?

The captains log

How do trees access the internet?

They log on

What is something you can use to find the pH of tree sap?

A log!

How do you know you're not logged into reddit?

There are posts on the frontpage

Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games?

Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out.

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs

Why couldn't the lumberjack sign into Facebook?

Because he was logged out!

How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down?

He keeps a log

What does Imperator Furiosa like to click when she logs into a website?

REMEMBER ME!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you mean I can't change the past?

Logs on to Wikipedia*

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

How did the tree get on to Reddit?

It just logged on...

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

Why is DeadMau5 bad at math?

He drops the base when doing logs.

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet?

If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again

How do the trees get on the internet?

They log on.

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Spock Jokes More Spock Jokes

Why did Spock dump his wife?

Because William Shatner I know it's old, but I love it so

Why didn't Spock do a mind meld with Frodo?

Because he figured that would be a bad hobbit to get in to.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

What did they find in the toilet in the star ship Enterprise?

The captain's log.

Ship Jokes More Ship Jokes

What's a sea serpent's favourite meal?

Fish and ships!

What did the busy port master say to the rowdy pirates who wanted to dock?

I don't have time for your ship.

Drown Number Theorist Jokes More Drown Number Theorist Jokes

What did the drowning number theorist say?

Logloglogloglogloglogloglogloglog

What did the drowning number theorist yell?

LOG LOG LOG LOG

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet?

The Site-anic.

What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

Captain Log Jokes More Captain Log Jokes

Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?

He was looking for the Captain's log.

What did Spock find in the Enterprise Bathroom?

The Captain's Log.

Drown Mathematician Jokes More Drown Mathematician Jokes

What did the drowning mathematician say?

Logloglogloglog...

What sound is emitted by a drowning mathematician?

Log log log log log log log log log...

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a Filipino horse make when it gallops?

Tagalog-tagalog-tagalog-tagalog.

Why do most blind folks not skydive?

The sound of the dog screaming at 8000 feet gets to you after a while.