Log Jokes

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise?

The captains log

How do trees access the internet?

They log on

What is something you can use to find the pH of tree sap?

A log!

How do you know you're not logged into reddit?

There are posts on the frontpage

Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games?

Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out.

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs

Why couldn't the lumberjack sign into Facebook?

Because he was logged out!

How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down?

He keeps a log

What does Imperator Furiosa like to click when she logs into a website?

REMEMBER ME!!!!!!!!!!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

What do you mean I can't change the past?

Logs on to Wikipedia*

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

How did the tree get on to Reddit?

It just logged on...

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

Why is DeadMau5 bad at math?

He drops the base when doing logs.

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet?

If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again

How do the trees get on the internet?

They log on.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

You might also enjoy:

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

How did the townsfolk find out the pigeons were plotting a revolution?

They heard them in the town square saying, "Coup, coup!"

Boil Jokes More Boil Jokes

What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled?

It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!

What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner?

A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout.

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

How long are you supposed to wait to return a boy's call?

This IRS guy sounded pretty into me

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return?

Stick

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm?

It has a blue light!

When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!?

Ah horse apples!

Captain Log Jokes More Captain Log Jokes

What did Spock find in the Enterprises's toilet?

The captain's log!

What did Spock find in the toilet?

Captain's log.

Captain Jokes More Captain Jokes

What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free?

The Internship

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

When is a tree it's loudest?

When it begins to bark.

What does a tree say after it gets knocked over by the wind?

I went out on a limb.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What do Winnie the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common?

The same middle name.

What do college students and deer have in common?

They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.