Poop Jokes

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

Poop.

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How do you write poop in Australia?

Dood

What do you call a Chatbook that consists solely of pictures of your poop?

A Shatbook.

What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

What time do monkeys poop?

Tree turdy.

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What did one poop say to the other poop?

You smell

Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her?

I may be a two but your an eight..

What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

Why couldn't the poop get flushed down the drain?

Because it was deterred.

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What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

What does a witch take when she can't poop?

Hexlax

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

What do you give and take at the same time?

A poop

What's the difference between a bucket of poop and a lawyer?

A bucket.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

How do you fail a urine test with a clean sample?

Poop in the specimen cup.

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What is a small, one story home made of poop called?

A dungalow

What do you call it when your Stepmother poops?

A Step-Stool

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

What does Hulk say when he poops?

IBM!

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

People without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What do you call a poop that went to med school?

Dookie Howser

What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car?

CELINE WUT R U DION

What if I have to poop?

D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

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Why didn't Pope John Paul let dogs into the Vatican?

Because they pee on poles.

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil?

Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the only thing better than Roses on a Piano?

Tulips on an Organ.

Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

Australia Jokes More Australia Jokes

Why is chess confusing in Australia?

That's check, mate.

Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth?

Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a large group of people who spit on others?

The Salivation Army.

What did you like best about your last job?

Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake.

Conversation Jokes More Conversation Jokes

Why don't other bugs like earwigs?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations!

What does Facebook and a conversation between two teenagers have in common?

A lot of likes

Mature Jokes More Mature Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

Humor Jokes More Humor Jokes

What form of humor is nonexistent in black culture?

Dad jokes

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.