Poop Jokes

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

Poop.

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How do you write poop in Australia?

Dood

What do you call a Chatbook that consists solely of pictures of your poop?

A Shatbook.

What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

What time do monkeys poop?

Tree turdy.

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What did one poop say to the other poop?

You smell

Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her?

I may be a two but your an eight..

What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

Why couldn't the poop get flushed down the drain?

Because it was deterred.

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What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

What does a witch take when she can't poop?

Hexlax

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

What do you give and take at the same time?

A poop

What's the difference between a bucket of poop and a lawyer?

A bucket.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

How do you fail a urine test with a clean sample?

Poop in the specimen cup.

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What is a small, one story home made of poop called?

A dungalow

What do you call it when your Stepmother poops?

A Step-Stool

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

What does Hulk say when he poops?

IBM!

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

People without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What do you call a poop that went to med school?

Dookie Howser

What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car?

CELINE WUT R U DION

What if I have to poop?

D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

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Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

What is a burp?

A fart taking the elevator.

How does Justin Beiber remove a condom?

He farts.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden?

Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'

How do I get out this stain?

Fire. How do you fix a car Fire. How do you break up with someone FIRE!

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

How far have you gone with a girl?

I went to Canada with my mum once

Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees?

Because they love digging up the past.

Topic Jokes More Topic Jokes

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way.

What's the only thing working out at the gym?

The business plan.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

How was your trip to Israel?

This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty "in tents".

What is the Rebel Alliance's least favorite month?

The Imperial March.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why didn't they tell Chris Christie they took his pony away?

He would've found it hard to digest.

When is a dog not a dog?

When it is pure bread. Told to me by a friend.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What does having kids bring you that money simply can't buy?

Poverty

What do you call a kid who's dad is Jamaican and mom is Chinese?

Rastafriedrice