Poop Jokes

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

Poop.

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How do you write poop in Australia?

Dood

What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

What time do monkeys poop?

Tree turdy.

What did one poop say to the other poop?

You smell

Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her?

I may be a two but your an eight..

What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

Why couldn't the poop get flushed down the drain?

Because it was deterred.

What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

What does a witch take when she can't poop?

Hexlax

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What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

What do you give and take at the same time?

A poop

What's the difference between a bucket of poop and a lawyer?

A bucket.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

How do you fail a urine test with a clean sample?

Poop in the specimen cup.

What is a small, one story home made of poop called?

A dungalow

What do you call it when your Stepmother poops?

A Step-Stool

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What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

What do you call a poop that went to med school?

Dookie Howser

What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car?

CELINE WUT R U DION

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Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What does a scientist who has an epiphany while peeing say?

Urea!

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Consist Jokes More Consist Jokes

What superhero consists of only 16 atoms?

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!

What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?

Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do cats speak to people?

They commeownicate.

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

Just the people who were in charge of that decision.

Conversation Jokes More Conversation Jokes

What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud?

Conversation

Why shouldn't you have a conversation under a tree in the fall?

There may be leavesdropping

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What do you get if you push a piano down a mine?

A flat miner

Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

What Happens when you fart in church?

You sit in your own pew

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?

This one will sleigh you!

How can you tell when Dracula is sick?

By his coughin'

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil?

Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.