What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

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How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

What do you give and take at the same time?

A poop

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What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?

He was looking for the Captain's log.

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What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

How many ears does Captain Picard have?

A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.