What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

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Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

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What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

How many ears does Captain Picard have?

A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.