What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

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Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

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What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

How many ears does Captain Picard have?

A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.