Sew Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

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How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

What did they sew you up with?

My Dad laughing so hard - as he said "That's not funny!" Cat Gut

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

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Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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Where did the dog find her husband?

At the Groomers!

Where can you find the speed of light?

At C level

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

Why is it easy to break in to an old man's house?

Because his gait is broken and his locks are few.

What makes you really cool?

Getting locked inside a walk-in freezer

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

How did Paul, the octopus, originally die?

Torres went and asked Paul proudly, "How many goals will I end up with after thia this World Cup " Paul died laughing.

What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did Jack Frost say at his climax?

Winter is coming

Why is a dog like a baseball player?

He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.

Print Jokes More Print Jokes

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

Captain Picard Jokes More Captain Picard Jokes

What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

How many ears does Captain Picard have?

A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Belgian waffles and American waffles?

Belgium waffles crumble in the hands of German.

What's the difference between Pizza and your opinion?

I asked for Pizza #KingOfjokes

Needle Jokes More Needle Jokes

What are Bill Gates latest projects?

Needle upscaling and camel miniaturization.

What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt?

Pop culture