Sew Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

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How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

What did they sew you up with?

My Dad laughing so hard - as he said "That's not funny!" Cat Gut

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

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What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

Why did the cow jump over the moon?

Because the farmer had cold hands

Why does the corn hate the farmer?

Because he picks his ears!

Print Jokes More Print Jokes

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What do you call a walrus that's been hit by a bus?

Dead.

What do you call an Asian person that is hit by a car?

Hood orient

Picard Jokes More Picard Jokes

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's worse than finding your dad's fleshlight?

Finding his blacklight.

What can be found in a Judge's freezer?

Just ice.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb?

1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was

What do 1% of racist people do?

They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

How did redditor heckle the stand up comic?

The real joke is always in the comments!

Where do shadowbanned Redditors go?

To the PAO Camp.

Gather Jokes More Gather Jokes

How do u tell the population of a small native village?

Throw a bunch of pocket change in the middle of town. How do u tell who is the richest person in that village? Find the person who gathered the most change.

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.