Sew Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

What did they sew you up with?

Cat gut.

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew.

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner?

No thanks, I'm stuffed.

How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down

Tailor Swift Jokes More Tailor Swift Jokes

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

Sow Jokes More Sow Jokes

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with toads?

She didn't want them to grow into wart hogs.

Fur Coat Jokes More Fur Coat Jokes

How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

Why do bears have fur coats?

Because they'd look stupid in anoraks!

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.

What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by a court of black people?

The NBA.

Barn Jokes More Barn Jokes

What does a bull do on a bitter cold winter day?

He goes into the barn and slips inside a warm Jersey

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

Captain Picard Jokes More Captain Picard Jokes

What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

How many ears does Captain Picard have?

A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.