Sew Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

What did they sew you up with?

Cat gut.

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew.

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was.......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN?

Because she didn't know which one came first!

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Why did the bacon laugh?

Because the egg cracked a yolk.

Why did the family not laugh at the Obstetrician's joke?

Because he screwed up the delivery...

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How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

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What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One.

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

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What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds!

Who's there! Ammon! Ammon who?

Ammon old hand at picking locks!

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Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?

Batman

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

Needle Jokes More Needle Jokes

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt?

Pop culture

Sow Jokes More Sow Jokes

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with toads?

She didn't want them to grow into wart hogs.