How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

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Poop Jokes More Poop Jokes

What's the difference between a bucket of poop and a lawyer?

A bucket.

What do you give and take at the same time?

A poop

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?

He wanted to have a birthday potty!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?

A mechanic.

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!