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How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

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Poop Jokes More Poop Jokes

What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They left the plunger in the toilet.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead?

A. The remote control slips from his hand.

What has three eyes, three hands, and three legs?

Two pirates

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

What's in a tweet?

That which you call your bowel movement, by any other tweet is still an odious hot mess.