How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

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Poop Jokes More Poop Jokes

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

People without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

Why couldn't the poop get flushed down the drain?

Because it was deterred.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion?

Because he was a slave to the cistern!

What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise?

The captains log

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What game are you watching?

I wonder what she thought I was doing with my hands.

What are Asian Tennis Players most well known for?

The Back Hand

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!

What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...