How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What's brown and rhymes with poop?

Snoop Dogg

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Why did Helen Keller scream?

Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

How do Baroque composers tweet?

Through their twitter Handel!..... I am so sorry

What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!