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How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

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Poop Jokes More Poop Jokes

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

Poop.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

How do you know you're flying over Poland?

Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

Why did Dory warn Nemo about escaping through the toilet?

Because it was a sewer side mission!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did the T-Rex fail his business project?

He couldn't make hands meet.

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why did the bird go to the restaurant?

Tweet!

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.