What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb?

If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.

What's the difference between Michael Brown and Darren Wilson?

Only one of them knows how to dodge a bullet.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless

How do I submit a joke?

Do I hand my life in

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why did the insomniac get arrested?

He resisted a rest.

How much rest does a bad Sheppard get?

Not a ton, he has a lot of sheepless nights.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud?

Conversation

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"