What did Jesus say when he made his return?

Hey guys! What's goin on Tweet my return! #JesusReturns

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What did Pontius Pilate say to Jesus?

If you drop that damn Cross again you are out of my Parade.

What does Jesus say when someone cuts his call?

Hello.. Hello..? Lama sabachthani?!

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Why did the python return his pants?

They were too constricting.

What are OJ Simpson's favorite keys on a computer?

Return Home Slash Slash Backslash Shift Shift Shift Escape

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What's white & falls from the sky?

The coming of the Lord." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...please enjoy this tweet. I'm going to hell.

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!