Tweet Jokes

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.

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Why did the bird go to the restaurant?

Tweet!

What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter?

They were ravin' with Raven.

What do you get when you kiss a canary?

Chirpes. It can't be tweeted because it's a canarial disease.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

What did Jesus say when he made his return?

Hey guys! What's goin on Tweet my return! #JesusReturns

What's white & falls from the sky?

The coming of the Lord." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...please enjoy this tweet. I'm going to hell.

What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud?

Conversation

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's in a tweet?

That which you call your bowel movement, by any other tweet is still an odious hot mess.

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!

How do Baroque composers tweet?

Through their twitter Handel!..... I am so sorry

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!

What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.