What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

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What is Bill and Ted's favorite book of the Bible?

Duderonomy! They also like Leviticus.

Why did the dog chase the bulldozer?

It doesn't like Cats.

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Why did the cat stop singing?

Because it was out of tuna.

Who's there! Cartoon! Cartoon who?

Cartoon up just fine she purrs like a cat!

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What's the difference between Whitney Houston and my car?

My car can make it to 50.

Who are the world's fastest readers?

The 911 victims. They went through 50 stories in a minute. I'm so sorry

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Who are the world's fastest readers?

The 911 victims. They went through 50 stories in a minute. I'm so sorry

How long is one minute?

It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

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What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes?

Get a small hankie!

What would you name someone who can predict when people sneeze?

Nostrildamus

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What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error

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What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.