Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell there is a Canadian in your closet?

You can hear someone scooting aboot in it

How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before?

He has claw marks on his forehead.

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

Why did the cat give birth at the park?

Because the sign at the park said "Fine for Littering"

How does a mermaid give birth?

By sea-section!

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What is an ark?

2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why are dogs always SENSITIVE?

Because they have tears in their eyes

What do you call a fish without any eyes?

Boneless chicken

Danish Jokes More Danish Jokes

What did the pastry from Denmark say to the pastry from Norway?

Hey, I'm Danish. JK they're pastries, they can't talk.

What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

They both slowly remove clogs.

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

Who will I share the sunset with now?

Sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.