What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why does vampire Superman want to go out?

Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)

Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?

He wanted to have a birthday potty!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the trick to satisfying your wife or girlfriend with only 3.5 inches?

Visa or Mastercard?

What is the difference between a wife and a mistress?

About 20kg.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?

Names!

What do you throw a drowning Mexican?

His wife and kids.

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk?

Disney spells.

Eel Jokes More Eel Jokes

What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?

That's a moray!

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray.

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

What kind of ship never sinks?

A dictatorship. *sobs*