What is a paranoid man's favorite food?

Who wants to know?

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What'd she want?

Me: nothing. Mgr: Where're all the donuts

Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

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Why do burgers laugh when you surround them with pickles?

Who knows - maybe they're picklish!

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh