What is a paranoid man's favorite food?

Who wants to know?

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Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

Why did the IT guy want to be an astronaut?

So he can find router space.

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When you know it is too cold in Bay Area?

When you see the programmer's hands are in their pockets.

What did the mole say when someone told him there were entire above-ground civilizations?

Holy moley, I didn't know that!