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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?

By leaving a plunger in the toilet

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How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

What made you leave it?

Well, the movie ended so

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What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?

Wait until he's finished.

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

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What has eyes but can't see?

Hellen Keller

What's the similarity between Hellen Keller and a sad pirate?

Neither of them got to sea!

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How do you pump a Republican for information?

With a plunger.

What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?

Leave the plunger in the pot.

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Why was the firewood punished?

It was knotty.

How are electric outlets punished?

They're grounded.