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What does dog poo and women have in common?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

This joke may have profanity.
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What can I do you for?

Woman: a bottle of wine and cab fare

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

The nun has hope in her soul!

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What is the best way to pick up American girls?

With a crane.

How did Canada get its name?

They picked random letters out of a hat. C.... eh? N... eh? D....eh?

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What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?

Officer on doody.