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Why don't women need a watch?

There's a clock on the stove.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a man without a beard?

A woman.

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?

About five gallons of gasoline," I replied.

How many engineers do you need to change a lightbulb?

You can take as many as you want but they will only give you the screwing direction.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

How do you make Ben Carson yell?

Watch a movie with him.

What are you watching?

Our wedding video.

Clock Jokes More Clock Jokes

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

Why did the clock phone the ruler?

Because desperate times call for desperate measures....

Stove Jokes More Stove Jokes

Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink?

So women know where to stand in the kitchen.

Why are wedding dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the stove.