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What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What is something you can use to find the pH of tree sap?

A log!

What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the smoker?

Briiiiines...

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion?

Because he was a slave to the cistern!

Why was the pencil in the toilet?

It was a No. 2.

Toilet Paper Jokes More Toilet Paper Jokes

Why should you always carry toilet paper to the twilight zone?

Doodoo doodoo

What do you get when an alternative metal band runs out of toilet paper?

Rage Upon the Latrine

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

The Army.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.