Toilet Paper Jokes

Which Way Do Transformers Put The Toilet Paper?

Autobots Roll Out!

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Why did the toilet paper stop crossing the road?

It got stuck in a crack.

What do you get when an alternative metal band runs out of toilet paper?

Rage Upon the Latrine

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom

How do you cook toilet paper?

You brown it on one side

Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to the party?

He's a party pooper!

Why is toilet paper no good for wrapping presents?

Cos it's tear-able.

What do the U.S.S. Enterprise and Toilet Paper have in common?

They both wipe out Klingons.

What do my jokes have in common with toilet paper?

They're both tearable.

How does one cook toilet paper?

Simple - brown it on both sides then throw it into the pot.

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It didn't want to get stuck in any cracks.

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What does Taylor Swift tell her boyfriend when he gets toilet paper stuck on his arse?

Shake it off

What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

I don't know." "So you're the one!"

What is a math teacher's favorite kind of toilet paper?

The kind that has multi ply's.

Why do you take toilet paper to the twilight zone?

DODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODO

What's the difference between toilet paper and the shower curtain?

So you're the one.... (only if you answered "i don't know")

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

Why do we call it toilet paper?

Does anyone wipe their toilet with it

Why should you always carry toilet paper to the twilight zone?

Doodoo doodoo

What's the difference between sanctuary and prison?

Toilet paper.

Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom?

Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper.

Why is Kfc always out of toilet paper?

Because it is Finger Lickin' Good.

What s the difference between toilet paper and toast?

Toast is brown on both sides.

What does an Australian use instaed of toilet paper?

Bidet, mate.

What's the difference between toilet paper and a hand towel?

So you're the one!

Why doesn't the Kentucky Fried Chicken use toilet paper?

It's finger licking good.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

No one knows it's never happened.

Why does toilet paper need a commercial?

Who is not buying this

What's the difference between a hand towel and toilet paper?

What " "You aren't coming to my house"

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

What hand do you wipe with?

Left or right Response: why not use toilet paper

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom?

To wrap itself in toilet paper!

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What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?

Truth or Darren Wilson.

What is it called when a bunch of people, all under 5'2", go to a raging party?

High wasted shorts!

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What did the dog say when he chased his tail?

This is the end.

Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

Party Pooper Jokes More Party Pooper Jokes

What do you call a group of people who share bathroom facilities?

Party poopers

Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to the party?

He's a party pooper!

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What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica?

X marks the pot, matey.

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

Art...floating in the sea Bob...laying on the floor Matt...down in a hole Phil...sitting in a pot Stu...

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What Journey song to Chinese people sing at funerals?

Don't Stop Bereavin'

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away its USB cable.

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What's the motto for Child Protective Services?

You shake em' we take em!

Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift?

Michael J. Fox he would just shake it off.

Taylor Swift Jokes More Taylor Swift Jokes

What do Palestinians and Taylor Swift have in similarity?

They both shake it off.

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage?

Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three.

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before marriage?

Feyonce