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Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

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Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.

Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete?

The old one was made of steal.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What did the bartender say to the horse?

Bartender: Why the long face Horse: My alcoholism is destroying my family.

Why did the plumber cry?

His family died.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Whatever happened to Robot Jones?

He got cancelled.

What club cancels their meeting everytime?

The vegan club

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

Why do melons tend to have large weddings?

They cantaloupe

Why did the melon have commitment issues?

Because he cantaloupe

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

Watermelon Jokes More Watermelon Jokes

What will you do with a million watermelons?

I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money.

What do you call a melon that's had a bit too much to drink?

A Watermelon...

Honeydew Jokes More Honeydew Jokes

Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon?

Because they cantaloupe..

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew?

I'm sorry baby, we just cantaloupe.

Theirs Jokes More Theirs Jokes

What product of theirs is most commonly exported?

Newborn girls.

How can you tell when you are talking to an extroverted engineer?

They look at your feet instead of theirs.

Las Vegas Jokes More Las Vegas Jokes

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

How do you win a small fortune in Las Vegas?

By spending a large fortune.